Infertility ... a word that alot of woman know but doesn't know what the concept of it all means. The emotionaly part of being infertility is draining and althought you know it will let you have a child at the end of the road (only for some) is the driving urge to continue and put yourself through all the injections/tablets/surgeries/scans.
I went for a check up with my gynea on Thursday and all is well. He said that I recoverd well from the miscarriage and the operation. We can start trying again. WTF ... does he know what it takes from me to TRY again. My heart was so sore after the appointment. We got so far in the 6 years of trying and now we have to walk this road of infertility again. I'm angry at the world and angry that why can't I fall pregnant naturally like any normal woman. I'm angry that we have to go through all of this again. I'm angry that my body healed faster than what my heart did. Will my heart ever heal? Time is patience but I just don't have the patience any more. People say that things happen to you to make you stronger, but how strong must I be. All I want is a child ... is that too much to ask.
Throughout the 6 years of walking this road of infertility I never use to get angry but today I am. You get dissapointed in life and you deal with it, but how do you deal with this road of continues dissapointment. People think you must just lift up your head and go on. "It will happen eventually"