29 January 2010
Today is 2 months since I lost my precious boys. The last week has not been easy and I was feeling very sad and the only thing I want to do is fall pregnant and feel the love again I felt for these two babies, but unfortunately the pain will always be there and the emptiness.
I have been keeping myself extremely busy so I don't have to think of what could have been. The mind is a very powerful thing and sometimes I wish I can find the off switch. I have been seeing a therapist for the past 2 months and it has help me a lot talking to her and get rid of the frustration.
On the 14th January I went for a Laporoscopy and Hysterscopy and my current Dr was very happy with the results. My tubes are open, he removed endometrioses and the septum in my uterus. I will see him again on the 4th February for a check up and then we will have a plan of action so will wait till then to decide what our decision will be.
For now I'm sitting with my own thoughts and missing my babies a lot. We made a pendant with their names (Troy and Thomas) and they will always be part of us. I never knew that life can hurt this much.