29 January 2010
Today is 2 months since I lost my precious boys. The last week has not been easy and I was feeling very sad and the only thing I want to do is fall pregnant and feel the love again I felt for these two babies, but unfortunately the pain will always be there and the emptiness.
I have been keeping myself extremely busy so I don't have to think of what could have been. The mind is a very powerful thing and sometimes I wish I can find the off switch. I have been seeing a therapist for the past 2 months and it has help me a lot talking to her and get rid of the frustration.
On the 14th January I went for a Laporoscopy and Hysterscopy and my current Dr was very happy with the results. My tubes are open, he removed endometrioses and the septum in my uterus. I will see him again on the 4th February for a check up and then we will have a plan of action so will wait till then to decide what our decision will be.
For now I'm sitting with my own thoughts and missing my babies a lot. We made a pendant with their names (Troy and Thomas) and they will always be part of us. I never knew that life can hurt this much.
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Karin, I cannot begin to imagine how you must be feeling, the hideous sadness that must be dragging you down inside. I am very glad to hear that you are seeing a therapist as I believe it can only help you recognize and move through the stages of grief.
ReplyDeleteJust keeping putting one foot in front of the other, you're a brave woman!
xx
Karin, I'm so sorry. I've also just started posting and am finding it very therapeutic. You've experienced a horrific loss and, two months out, I'm not surprised that you are still hurting so much. So glad that your tests went well and that you will be deciding on a plan of action with your doc. I'm sending you a big hug.
ReplyDeleteHi Karin, I'm here through LFCW. I'm so very sorry to hear about the loss of your boys.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on a positive news at the doctor's office :) and I hope that blogging helps as you move through your grief.
Wishing you peace
Hi there, Karin. Found your blog through Stirrup Queens and wanted to welcome you to blogging. I hope you will find lots of support and new friends in this community!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry about the loss of your sweet boys. Sending prayers as you discover what the next steps will be with your doctor.
Here from LFCA. I am so sorry for the loss of your baby boys. We lost our sweet daugther shortly after birth in late August, so I know the pain. Many hugs...
ReplyDeleteKarin, A friend sent me your blog. I am very sorry for the loss of Troy and Thomas. I know that your heart is shattered, but please know that you can find peace!!! The Lord will guide you through this new journey!
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